Mad At My Brain

Calvin kept getting in trouble for asking why every time I would ask him to do something or tell him to do something. After getting in trouble for the millionth time and having privileges revoked he sat in the back of the car with his arms folded and made the comment "I'm so mad at my brain right now" (it apparently gets him into a lot of trouble these days).

Destruction

Calvin asked Tony while he was taking him around in the water truck why he didn't have a regular job like working on a computer instead of working "destruction". I guess driving a water truck isn't considered a real job by a 5 yr old.

They Understand Me !

While waiting for our car to be detailed at the car wash we walked over to Wienerschnitzel and had lunch. Calvin was still hungry and so I gave him some money to go buy a corn dog. He walked up and purchased it and waited for his food to be ready. When the guy gave him his food he came back to the table all excited and said "They gave me the food because they understand me, cause they speak the same language!"

Not Nice Behavior & Respect

The following conversations took place tonight between the hour of 8:30pm & 9:30pm.

Calvin comes down the stairs for the 7th time I'm sure.

Calvin: Mom, I need to tell you something.
Me: What? That you're gonna go to bed and stay there?
Calvin: No, I need to tell you that I need to be respected by you and I feel that you aren't respecting me at all.
Me: If you would like me to respect you then you need to go back to bed like I asked you all those times again.

About 15 min later he comes down yet again telling me how he needed to talk to his Papa E. I told him that Papa E. was in bed asleep. After the weeping and wailing subsided I finally told him that he could talk to Grandma E. He then proceeded to tell her that my behavior was not being nice and that she needed to come over and talk to be about being nice to him and respecting him and that I needed to show better behavior to him. Seriously, I've got a 15 year old living here. Not a 5 year old.

I Want A Cell Phone Like Yours

As I was making dinner tonight Calvin came up to me and the conversation went like this:
Calvin: Mom, I want a cell phone like yours that takes videos and does pictures.
Me: Um, no.
Calvin: Why not?
Me: Cause your 5.
Calvin: Yeah I am 5 and I want to get a cell phone.
Me: Well, you are 5 and you don't need a cell phone and you aren't gonna get a cell phone.

I seriously didn't think I'd have this conversation for at least another 5 years.

Chasing Waterfalls

Why is it when you tell a child to leave the water in the bath tub they can't? This was our situation this morning with Calvin... without the bubbles. He proceeded to pour cupful after cupful out of the tub until the bathroom floor was flooded. All the while saying waterfall... in my defense, I thought he was dumping it into the tub because 5 seconds before he had been. His reasoning why this happened?... it just wasn't a nice thing to do! Hmm... I swear this kid reads these comics it can't be a total coincidence right?!?

This is America....

I don't know where he's gotten this from but lately if someone is talking Spanish he'll blurt out the following examples:

* Waiting in line the other day at Costco a family in front of us was speaking Spanish "Calvin" spoke up and said "that family is speaking Spanish, but in America we speak English!

* While at his grandma's house she had her cleaning lady who only speaks Spanish there. He walked up to her after hearing her only speak Spanish and said We live in America! We only speak English here. Then he proceeds to tell his grandma that he speaks French.